Chapter Two: Even in darkness, a mind never sleeps
The McQuarrie home was finally silent, as the night had fallen over Bahia Bay and her brothers had actually went off to sleep. No one stirred in Lor’s home except for one person... Lor herself.
Laying in bed, with the clock showing twelve thirty in the morning, Lor stared at the darkened ceiling above her bed. She had gone to bed almost three hours ago now, but had not even had a wink of sleep in the time.
Her mind had been throwing around what she had seen in the book at Tish’s place. She had ignored it the best that she could throughout the day, but it was getting steadily harder to push it away. Now laying in the dark and stillness of her own home, it had became next to impossible to stop them. The images of the two women making love was still very vivid in her mind.
She had tried some warm milk, read a comic book three times over and even tried eating an entire bag of cheese bonkies. Now that it was past midnight, she was rolling around in her bed trying to make herself fall asleep or at least trying to find a comfortable way to lay to help that along. It was not going well.
The girl had actually changed her pyjamas twice during this time to find something that would sooth her body, even if her mind was in overdrive. Nothing seemed to be working, not even the coziest of her night time attire. She layed there for awhile longer, staring up into the darkness over her bed.
Now in desperation, she got up peeled off the pyjamas she was wearing, and crawled back into her bed totally naked. She covered herself back up and layed there, hoping that this would do the trick. She seemed to be out of anything else she could do or try... and this was ususal, even for her.
She layed there, feeling the warm sheets from her bed covering her still in-the-middle-of puberty body. It made her tingle a little, but being naked was doing very little to help at the moment. She closed her eyes, and just concentrated hard things that were fun and relaxing. She took a deepened breath and waited to see if this would work.
She woke up something later, after actually falling asleep for a short time. She found that she was sweating very profusely and her heart was racing. She quickly remembered the very sexually charged dream she had been having, the lady from the picture that was on her knees was doing just that- and was in between Lor’s legs. She swallowed hard, as she found something else different as she came more aware of her surroundings.
The girl found that she had one of her hands between her legs, one of her fingers was pushed deeply inside of her. She could feel the wetness that painted her inner thighs and all over her hand.
For a moment she thought it might have been her period or something, but her mind reminded her that she had just finished her cycle only four days ago. She went to remove her hand, but as she moved it, her whole body twitched with a cascade of sensations that shot through her very being. She gasped, as the feelings that had overtook her, they were so overwhelming.
Experimenting, she put the finger back in, and felt herself sigh. The finger felt so good to be in there, and that was making her already racing heart speed up even more. She pushed it in and out a few times, her legs now opening on their own to let her have complete access. She shuttered and moaned to the darkness, finding herself unable or actually unwilling to stop herself.
She began to masturbate in earnest, pumping her hand with a steady rhythm into her slickness. She inserted another finger inside of herself, and that brought even more of a sensation as she moaned with it. She rested her head back on the pillows behind her self and sighed while the images of what her dream had been about flow through her- and that seemed to spur her hand on.
Soon she was panting deeply and trying to stifle her continued groans, as she felt the pressure building in her. She found her body was responding to this build-up by moving her hips in time, as she kept her hand moving. She was starting to feel like she was going to explode or something, but to her surprise, her body wanted to exactly do that. She put her fingers even deeper within herself, and whimpered, as her own sex vibrated happily around then.
Out of the blue, whatever it had been building deep in her, was now at a frenzied peak. She found herself moving her hand so quickly while her other hand had reached up and was clutching her headboard with knuckles turning white. She felt like she was right on the very edge of something, and she pushed her fingers all the way into herself to satisfy whatever it was that drove her.
A small whine passed her lips as her very first orgasm was now rocking her body from ever possible angle, flooding her with a menagerie of sensations. She turned her head and bit the pillow, stopping herself from crying out while her body spasms now were out of control. She could feel the wetness literally shooting out around her hand and drenching her bed under her. She gasped once more as she slammed her fingers deep in her, and her body went fully rigid then collapsed limp on the bed.
She layed panting hard, realizing what had just happened. She wiped away some of the sweat that had collected on her small brow with a hand and sighed. She layed there for awhile, enjoying the pleasures of the afterglow.
As she layed there, a realization popped into her head. She felt a little scared and ashamed in a way now, as she had been pleasing herself while thinking about the naked women in Tish’s book.
" Am I liking girls now?" She asked her self, knowing full well what had triggered off all of this. " Gay? Am I gay?"
The fear flowed over her more, as that thought hit. Shame was quick to fallow her too. Lor had no answer for herself, and was feeling a little like she was a freak or something. She already knew, that liking girls was not something normal.
She found that she really wanted to talk this out, something that was way out of her character, but she had no idea where she could go for doing that. She layed there and thought through everyone that she could think of. Teachers at school were a joke and not a option for her. Carver and Tino would be a mistake too, as they would not understand even if she left out the part of what she woke up doing to herself. She thought about talking to her parents also, but quickly passed that off, and any other family members would not do either.
It was very clear to the blonde girl as she lay in the darkness, she was at a loss for just where to turn with this..
Lor suddenly shot up to a sitting position in her bed, Her mind had hit on Tish... Smart, intelligent and slightly opinionated Tish. Lor frowned, as it was Tish’s book was the cause of this... but maybe Tish would not judge her for feeling this way if she told her everything. She sighed, as she pondered that option. That was the idea that actually made sense.
Lor nodded to herself, it was clear... it was her only avenue to go in. Everywhere else she could go for advice and to talk this out, she would be ridiculed and everything else. Tish was the one, and the only one also.
She feared that even her best friend of so many years by now, might end up shunning her for thinking like this- for thinking that she may be attracted to girl and all. Despite that, she knew that she just might have to take a big chance, and confide in her friend she had since kindergarten on this matter.
Lor was never one to show her emotional side, except for when she was bossy or angered. This situation needed to be talked out, and the young McQuarrie girl simply knew that she needed someone to listen. Tish was her only way.
She rolled over in bed, still feeling her young girlhood was tingling away to some degree from her self-attention. She ignored it and simply drifted back to a light sleep, planning out just what she was going to tell the brainy girl, and hoping for the best reaction.
She knew, that if she did not do it tomorrow, she would lose her nerve, and her chance to work stuff out would be gone. She sighed and closed her eyes, now feeling tired from all of the thinking she had been doing.
Despite her fears and anxiety that were swirling around in her head, she did drift off into what could be called a very half and half sleep.