Chapter 2: Stars and Scars
It's been a two weeks since Vivian came in our house. She does the cleaning; washing the dishes, feeding the dogs and all sorts of things that she can do with her time. To tell the truth, I like seeing my room clean and that's all thanks to her. When Mama Jess told her that she doesn't have to do all these things she replied "I feel like by doing this I'm repaying the kindness you all are giving me." But I don't like waking up in her arms every morning! Yes, you heard me right. She wraps her arms around me when she's sleeping. She probably thinks I'm some kind of a teddy bear or a pillow. I tell her to stop it everyday this past weeks but I guess it's her instincts or her dreams. *Sigh* She still can't remember anything but her name but there's a very suspicious paper that was in her hands when we found her. She was holding it like her life depends on it so we didn't cared about it when we found her; when we found out that she has Amnesia, we looked for it and found it on the floor. You want to know why it's suspicious? That's because the old address of Dessy-mama was written in it! Then that means that this woman, I mean Vivian, is part of my mom's past. But that's doesn't make sense at all... Because Vivian is probably 2 years older than me.
I heard the phone ringing and I'm too lazy to get it. Luckily Dessy-mama was just passing by so she grabbed it.
"Clover!!!"
"Yes?"
"It's for you!!"
"For me?"
"Hello?" I said thinking who will call me at 11pm. "Hey Clover! It's Brad! I'm here outside your house. Can I see you for a minute?" "Why?" I ask. "I have to tell you something important," he said. "I'll be out in a minute."
I turned to Vivian and told her to tell my Moms that I went out for a minute and then I ran to the door. There outside the fence stood Brad. We've been going out for 3 months now. I wonder what's wrong.
"Hey Brad" I kissed him in his cheeks and hugged him. "What's wrong? Is what your going to tell me THAT important that you have to come to our house at this time of night?" He stared at me for a moment and then said "Yeah. It's important because it involves us. You, me, our relationship.... and ... and ... Cindy."
I was stunned for a moment and then what he said registered in my mind. "Cindy? How did Cindy got involve with our relationship?" I ask, hoping that my suspicions aren't right. I look at him hoping that what his going to say next will NOT be what I'm thinking he's going to say. " I'm dating Cindy now..." he said with a low voice, almost inaudible but for me it felt like he shouted it. He looked at me an "I'm sorry" look and he walked away. I couldn't do anything, I just watch him disappear in the corner. Then I felt the wind and I shudder, it was summer but why do I feel so cold? Then I felt a warm hand in my right shoulder, I saw Vivian and her eyes told her something. " I don't need you sympathy!" she said and then ran to the tree house.
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The tree house is where I usually go when I need to think. I feel great seeing the world below me, the stars above me and feeling one with the nature but tonight I feel horrible. I've been admiring Brad since last I was a freshman and when he asked me out I was so happy but now I don't know anymore. I heard and knock on the tree house door and I heard Vivian said "Can I come in?" I watched as the door opened I wanted to say something but then I felt like I didn't have any energy left after hearing Brad's words. "Uhhmm.. I asked Jess where you might be and she told me to go here." She look at me with those deep dark brown eyes and I said again "I told you I don't need your sympathy" and then I broke down in tears. I didn't know what I was doing anymore I can't stop my tears from falling and I felt Vivian hug me. She was silent the whole time; she just sat there lending me her shoulder to cry on. She finally spoke and said "C'mon it's not that bad is it? I mean there are tons of guys out there and.." I didn't let her finish bec. I suddenly became mad "What do you know?!You don't remember a thing about your past! How would you understand My feelings?!" I was crying and shouting at the same time. And then there was silence all I can hear is the insects sounds. Then I realized that I poured out my anger to her..
"I'm sor.."
"You're right.." she suddenly blurted out from no where. "I don't know anything about what you're feeling right now. Here I am living in a stranger house not knowing anything about my past and trying to invade your personal life. I'm sorry."
I was stunned by what she said when I was starting to say something she said..
"But I feel like I know what you feel... I feel like I have felt worst but I couldn't remember.."
And then again... there was silence
I forgot about what happened earlier and focused my attention on what Vivian just said. I question came to my mind "What does it feel like to forgot your past? Does it hurt? Do you want to learn your past?" I was just thinking that but Vivian looked at me with those eyes and I knew that I asked the questions out loud. She looks at me and look at the stars. I was going to tell her to forget the questions..
"Honestly.." Damn she really know how to speak when I'm going to speak. "I don't know. I've been staying up all night thinking about that too. I'm curious about my past but then I feel like I don't want to go back there..." I stared at her with confusion in my eyes. " Here I have to show you something.." She stood up and then took her shirt off "Hey! What are you doing?!" I said shocked but then I saw scars. Not only one but there's probably five of them and there I big one in the middle of her back. I was stunned not knowing what to say. She stood near the window still staring at the stars. " I see this everytime I take my clothes off.. Those are the times that I want to ask myself.. Do I really want to know about my past?" She said... sadness in her voice. At that moment I forgot about Brad... I forgot about everything that happened that night. All I feel is that here's Vivian... in front of me close to tears... her skin that bares the scars from her past... the stars in the sky... her hair that was gently lifting by the summer breeze. I knew she was shock when I traced my fingers from her back. I knew she was more shock when I kissed the biggest scar on her back. I felt her shudder and embraced her letting her know that It's okay; then I felt tears flowing down to my arms from her cheeks. "It's okay... I'll help you heal your past using the present.." We both sat on the wooden floor and she cried. have this weird feeling why I held her in my arms. But one thing I know of... I'm going to welcome this feelings... Brad was now forgotten and the spot that Brad held in her heart is now slowly being replace by the girl that's crying in her arms. I thought while looking at the stars.
to be continued...