“… and all the money was returned. Kim, as always, I’m impressed. GJ owes you a great debt for capturing Zorpox and Monique.”
Another job well done for Team Possible. No doubt about it, capturing the elusive and deadly Zorpox should’ve touched off a memorable celebration through Middleton and, perhaps, the world. Streamers should’ve been raining down from every avenue while TV channels stopped their programming to show him spewing curses from behind bars. In a time when immense satisfaction and accolades were called for, Kim felt conflicted and ill.
Ever the sharp, empathic leader, Dr. Sheldon Director quickly picked up on the heroine’s unusual demeanor and the palatable lack of her partner. Putting two and two together, he quietly offered, “If you’re looking for Shego, she went off toward the high school.”
The name alone tied knots in Kim’s stomach and shortened her breath. A cacophony swirled about her, them, the kiss, the Atittudinator, the battle, and their relationship. On one hand, Kim was mortified and disgusted especially considering she wasn’t a lesbian and Zorpox saw… but mostly because she wasn’t a lesbian. Yup, Kimberly Ann Possible was straight as could be, the kind of girl without a queer bone in her body. She never even considered fantasizing about her best friend, let alone another girl.
On the other hand, Shego kissed like no one and nothing else. If she was a man, Kim would’ve been turned into a steaming pile of romance-laden goo…
Ew, but Shego was a girl! Gross and awkweird! Like, hello?! How could a popular cheerleader like Kim herself be gay? That’s right: no way.
At the same time, Shego was also her best friend, and what was a kiss between best friends? Their time-tested friendship rested on the foundation of their long, fondly remembered, pre-K history. A simple kiss couldn’t change over a decade of stalwart loyalty, innumerable weekends of shopping, and countless times of saving each others’ lives, could it?
Torn with herself and Shego, Kim didn’t notice Dr. Director’s comforting hand on her shoulder until she felt a shake.
“Kim,” said the leader of GJ, “is Shego ok?”
“I don’t know… I mean, I think so, but there was this ray gun and it hit her.”
Panic wasn’t a word associated with Kim Possible. The girl dodged giant killer robots and disarmed earth-shattering lasers on a daily basis, but then again, those were physical challenges. Having something happen to a friend, especially to a partner, amounted to another possibly more formidable beast.
Sheldon had seen too many fine agents ambushed by their partner’s troubles. “I need you to bring her into a hospital as soon as you can.”
“But Dr. Director-”
“We all know what Zorpox is capable of and I don’t want Shego to be another one of his victims.” The man lowered his voice and continued in a kinder tone. “Speaking as someone who cares for you, who watched both of you grow from babysitters for hire to this unbelievable tandem, find Shego. Could I send a GJ squad to drag her kicking and screaming into an ambulance? Sure, but it’s obvious something happened between you two. I’m giving you a chance to do damage control now before everything gets worse… that is, if you want to.”
Of course Kim still wanted Shego’s friendship. Besides her parents, Shego was the most important person in her life. But, “It’s so the drama. I want to work things out for myself before we deal.”
What a commendable elusive tactic, but Sheldon saw straight through it. “Don’t try and kid yourself by saying you need space. I’ve seen too partnerships end badly because of too much thinking. Take it from someone who’s seen a little more in the world than you: don’t put off talking to her. You’d be abandoning her when she truly needs you the most.”
“But she stormed off herself!”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, Kim. She walked away from you, so does mean you should walk away from her?” Dr. Director took a step back and resumed his more proper, manly persona. “You have two hours to find Shego and report to me about her status. If I don’t get your call, I’m sending Will Du after her. Understood?”
Without waiting for an answer, Sheldon turned back toward the cordoned off Bueno Nacho and began shouting orders. Her hair spackled with cheese and Diablo Sauce, Kim stared into the ground as if the chunk of concrete before her had the answers to her problems. She questioned every aspect of herself: sexuality, open-mindedness, bravery, responsibility, commitment to justice. What kind of person was Kim Possible? An intolerant cheerleader? Another apathetic teen who’s motto was “Whatever?”
Well, whoever Kim Possible was, she wasn’t a quitter.
Steeling herself, the redhead flipped out her Kimmunicator. “Drew, where’s Shego?”
*****************
Young couples and children loved Jen and Berry’s ice cream shop. For a nominal price, an entire cornucopia of desserts opened up like the doors to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Sprinkles, cookies, syrups, and candies topped ice creams of all colors and flavors. On a hot summer day, J&B’s was the coolest place in Middleton; any other time, the place was just plain cool. Stood to reason many happy moments took place there. First kisses, first dates, birthdays, post-finals celebrations, every occasion fit the retro-hip ice cream parlor. It was a beloved, comforting sight in a world that wasn’t always kind. When anyone in the Colorado town needed a pick-me-up, they strolled down to Jen and Berry’s, ordered up their favorite concoction, and pushed their sorrows away with memories of times better spent.
Times better spent were what drew Shego onto Jen and Berry’s roof. Since as long as she could remember, she and Kim came here every Saturday. Till about seven, their parents drove. From eight to sixteen, they rode their bikes. Now? They had cars, or rather, Shego had a car and Kim was perpetually working on hers. Saturday didn’t feel right until they giggled away at least two hours of their existence talking about their latest infatuations and sharing the week’s gossip. It was fun, it was tradition, and it was beyond reach…
… thanks to a single kiss.
Long ago she acknowledged her attraction towards women. Guys? Still good, but women—actually, woman—was better. Two factors prevented acknowledgement from becoming acceptance: high school and family. What would the parents and brothers think? What about the reception at school? Around town? Would whispers of “slut” and “dyke” hound her day after day? Could she deal with the ridicule? Did she want to deal with the ridicule?
Then there was Kimmie. There always was Kimmie.
Bitterly, Shego glared at the happy children, couples, and families streaming into the store. With her legs dangling over the ledge and a brown paper bag nestled in her grasp, the dark haired girl swayed to the deafening music (some canned, unidentifiable emo-rock song which suit her pissy mood) her iPod blasted out. Stupid happy people didn’t know how fickle happiness could be. Maybe they needed Zorpox to kick them in the face. Oh wait, he was in jail after his mind-messer ray blew up. How about Professor Dementor then? If she was lucky, maybe he’d see fit to pull a meteor into J&B’s thereby saving her the heartache of watching happy people and the knowledge that her life as a normal girl was over.
Heaving a sigh, she poured the remains of the bag’s contents into her mouth and hiccupped.
“Lousy, no-good idiot,” she growled to no one in particular. “Oh, look at me! I love you, Kimmie! Let’s kiss in front of Zorpox so he’ll have wet dreams for the next century!”
She chucked the bag over her shoulder where it joined four more of its brethren. Her shoulders slumped as she buried her face in her hands. The remainder of her self-conversation became a muffled tirade, but the general idea remained: she wished this day never happened. Specifically, she wished she never saw the look of absolute terrified disgust on Kim’s face. That split second nullified the hope and euphoria from the kiss, forever banishing fantasy back into impossibility.
Which was a big problem because…
“God, I still love her. What kind of loser am I? She’s probably barricaded herself in her bathroom, scrubbing off my lesbian germs.”
“That’s not true.”
Despite her earbuds doing their best to drown out all other sound, Shego heard the quiet comment. A tap of the iPod later, silence and a nasty helping of dread sent shivers up her spine. Unsteadily, she turned her head, but before she could say a word, another hiccup escaped her.
Kim picked up one of the paper bags and glanced inside. “Are these…”
“Raspberry, triple cookie, Neapolitan, banana split floats? Yup.”
“You had five of them?”
Shego shrugged. “Figured I should start working on my new queer image, Pumpkin. Short hair, flannel shirts, and another hundred pounds should get me into the butch clubs just fine.”
Instead of firing back with denials she wasn’t sure of, Kim settled for taking a seat by her friend. “I thought you needed a spoon and a ginormous appetite to eat those.”
“I lied.”
The terse comment required silence as its only answer. The girls snuck furtive glances at each other, between them so many thoughts they couldn’t find a way to express them all. Maybe if they stayed quiet, the uneasiness would go away and they’d go back to what they were this morning—drama free best friends.
Maybe talking about serious stuff would break the ice. “Shego, do you mind if Drew does a scan on you?”
“Why? So you find out if Zorpox is mind controlling me to get in your pants?”
“No,” replied the redhead, more than a little frustrated, “to see if you’re hurt.”
“Oh.”
Taking “Oh” to mean “Yes,” Kim flipped open her Kimmunicator and pointed it at Shego. Drew’s face immediately flashed onto the screen. “Whoa, like J&B’s already. Rough one today?”
Both girls glared at him in a unified way of saying “Don’t go there.”
“Oooookay, rough one it was. Now, what am I scanning for?”
“Zorpox hit her with a ray gun and I want to see if she still has all her fingers and toes.”
“I could tell you that without Drew.”
“Scan her brain too.”
“No.”
“Why not? Shego, you could be-”
“No, there is nothing wrong with my brain, so leave it alone.”
“But you were crying on Zorpox at Bueno Nacho!”
“I got better!”
“Face it: you weren’t yourself. You hit me!”
“Apparently not hard enough!”
“Then you kissed me!”
“And it wasn’t because of a stupid ray gun! I’ve wanted to kiss you since eighth grade!”
A tiny beep from the speaker signified a completed scan. “Hehe,” Drew chuckled uncomfortably. “Everything about Shego matches up with the baseline measurements I have of her, so she’s fine. I have to umm… alphabetize my robot collection and… stuff.”
The screen went black as the girls backed off from their confrontation. This wasn’t how Team Possible operated, this wasn’t how life was suppose to be. “This is screwed up, Pumpkin.”
“I’ll say. You probably gave him a head start on puberty.”
“Good, because he needs it.”
Finally fed up with the verbal sparring, Kim took two deep breaths, counted to five, and continued ahead. “So not the drama,” she whispered to herself. “Can we just like… start this meeting over? There’s that pink elephant I want to talk about.”
“It’s only a pink elephant if we know about it and don’t talk about it. Maybe there wasn’t much talking, but we’ve been doing a great job screaming about it.”
“Whatever, you know what I’m talking about.”
“Hey, don’t ‘whatever’ me.”
“Shego! Focus!”
“I am focused!”
“Then why are you making this difficult?!”
“Me make it difficult? Me?! I wasn’t the one who looked like she was about to burn her best friend at the stake!”
“What are talking about?”
Furious, Shego jabbed her finger at Kim’s chest. “I might’ve been a little loopy, but I saw you as clear as day. Remember? When you pushed me away, I could almost hear things like ‘freak’ and ‘burn her’ come out of your mouth!”
“Um, hello? I was surprised, so don’t go around putting words in my mouth! I haven’t had a lot of time to process anything!”
“Whatever,” muttered Shego as she got off the ledge to walk away.
Like her friend, Kim didn’t take the “whatever” too well. She latched onto Shego’s arm and demanded, “Don’t.”
Shego tugged once and found the grip unwavering. “Don’t what?”
“Walk off? Be a bitch? Take your pick.”
A soft, hesitant “You’re not disgusted with me?” extinguished Kim’s anger.
In fact, the question broke her heart. It showed how accurately Shego knew Kim, how Kim wasn’t as accepting as she thought she was, how one act could shake the foundations of a relationship thought untouchable. Disgust—it was the first word which came to mind after she realized who was doing the kissing. Was the disgust a knee jerk reaction or was indicative of a more deep seated, bigoted point of view?
Maybe Shego was right to be defensive.
But before the disgust, there was heaven. Just thinking about the raw sensations brought an excited flutter to Kim’s stomach. Her breath shortened, the redhead couldn’t stop her cheeks from flushing or her heart from racing. If Shego was a boy…
“I don’t know,” she breathed. “It’s… I… But… we’re girls.”
Another time, Shego would’ve responded with a sarcastic barb; today, she couldn’t summon the strength anymore. Shoulders slumped and eyes downcast, she said, “I know.”
“It’s like all wigged out, you know? I meant it when I said I love you, but do ‘I Love You?’ Shego, we’re girls.”
“You’ve made that real clear.”
“What’ll other people say? Mom? Dad? Your brothers? Oh my God, we totally blew up in front of Drew!”
“Pumpkin, I’ve thought about all of it. Trust me, unlike you, I had a lot of time and the sad fact is none of it’s good. Just… try not to tell too many people about me, ok?”
“Wait, you think I’m going to tell other people?”
“With the way you were freaking out, what else am I suppose to think?”
“Unless you wanted me to, I’d never tell anyone.”
“Because you’re ashamed of me?”
“Because you’re the last person on this world I want to hurt! Geez, Shego, do you think I’m like that? I’m stressed, worried, and confused, but I’d never, ever betray you.”
“That was before you looked at me like I was worse than Zorpox. Didn’t exactly give me a vote of confidence there.”
“Confidence is the last thing I have right now. I’ve got no idea about… about… anything. Shego, I don’t know what to do and I’m the girl who can do anything.”
“Do the only thing you can do,” Shego sighed. She laid a hand on top of Kim’s and gave a brief squeeze. “Let’s just go home, chill out, and move on. Today never happened. No awkweird memories, no uneasy chuckles when I put my arm around your shoulder, no thinking I’m checking you out when we’re at Club Banana—everything will be the same.”
“You’d just be hiding again, and that’s not fair.”
“Been hiding since eighth grade, Pumpkin, so I’ve got practice. You’ve got a future to think about, people who you need to impress to move on in the world, and a reputation to uphold. Me? I’m going to be a nobody, a fashion designer. You don’t need to be straight or straight-laced to get my kind of job.” An embarrassed peal of laughter filled the air. “Actually, fashion designers need to be a little off, so I’ll fit right in.”
Giving another firm tug, she pulled herself away from a stunned Kim. “Barkin’s subbing for Mr. Terrance, so remember to finish up the calculus homework. I’ll see you in class tomorrow, ok?
Funny how fast the sun disappeared. Darkness wrapped around Shego, and for once, she’d welcome the chance to fade into the night. More than anything else, she wanted to disappear and never live this life ever again. Despite her urgings, she knew Kim wouldn’t forget the kiss, their friendship wouldn’t be the same, and life wouldn’t go on. Things like this always had a way of getting out whether it be Zorpox’s loose lips or a J&B’s customer who happened to hear their exchange. Heart broken, affections rejected, and reputation ruined, Shego marched, never looking back, never expecting to hear the easy comfort of Kim’s unstrained voice again.
“I can’t forget it.”
Shego froze.
“It was the most intense ten seconds I’d ever experienced. I can’t stop thinking about it even when I know you were the one kissing me. I remember every reaction, every thought, everything about those moments like they’re constantly happening. We’re girls, I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but I am.”
I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Objectively, such a statement was garbage because people shouldn’t be told how they should feel, but in reality, this was the crux of the fiasco. Neither Shego nor Kim had the emotional apathy to ignore what others thought and care only for each other. They fought for the world; thus, they couldn’t ignore it.
So they stood atop of Jen and Berry’s, atop of their lifetimes of happy memories, atop the world they fought for, atop the same world who’d see Team Possible in a new light if neither walked away from the kiss. A vast ocean of unshared emotions, uncertainty, and visceral fear separated them. Alone, they were incomplete but safe. Together, they were complete but unsafe. While neither knew how the future would be, both realized they didn’t want to be alone.
Pre-K playmates. High school classmates. Team Possible partners. Best friends. They couldn’t ignore the world, but they couldn’t ignore their past.
Despite having her back turned, a tentative pair of arms embraced Shego. This morning, the practiced gesture meant a silent request for support; tonight, nothing was that simple. “I’m scared.”
“Me too,” Kim said with a tremble.
“If you leave me alone, you won’t be.”
“Can’t. We come as a pair.”
“People are going to talk and we’re never going to hear the end of it. Middleton’s not exactly a huge town.”
“Maybe we should give them a little more credit. I mean, this can’t be a big deal, right?”
Shego stiffened at the implications. “Pumpkin, are you saying you want to be with me?”
“Yes.”
*****************
In GJ’s maximum security holding area, one Zorpox the Conqueror paced around in his cell. Team Possible might’ve escaped destruction today, but they still hadn’t gone beyond the scope of his contingency plan. Such were the joys of villainy, the ability to keep coming again and again as long as one had the will. After all, didn’t Al Capone run his empire from within Alcatraz? Didn’t John Gotti still put fear into his enemies’ hearts, some say from beyond the grave?
What the mob could do, Zorpox could do better!
“Boss, when am I breaking us out of here?”
A bored Monique sat in her cell across the hall, feet propped up and nails currently being filed. So she wasn’t the world’s greatest fighter, as witnessed earlier with her fight against Kim Possible, but she was an escape artist worthy of legends. Zorpox smiled at his loyal henchwoman and shook his head. “We’re staying.”
Monique frowned. “I left my skin moisturizer at the lair.”
“Suffer for me,” sighed the villain. “I’ve got another trick up my sleeve that not even Team Possible can evade!”
“Better be good if I’m going without my moisturizer.”
“Think about it, Monique. Who owns Bueno Nacho?”
“Erm, like you do.”
“Exactly, and a man can’t rob himself.”
“Duh.”
“So if I wasn’t committing any crimes…”
“I did kind of put a cashier into traction.”
“A technicality! As I was saying, if I wasn’t committing any crimes, then it was Possible and her meddling sidekick who assaulted us on my property. They should be in here with us!”
“And?”
“And?” scoffed Zorpox, aggravated his employee didn’t see the connection. “And we’re criminals, Monique. Team Possible? Heroes. What kind of people go to jails?”
“Stupid villains like Duff Killigan, Adrena Lynn, and Frugal Lucre.”
“Yes! All of them will want a piece of Team Possible! If we’re here, we can recruit our colleagues, mobilize them, and prepare them. Once we get those girls in jail, they’re as good as dead!”
“Um, problem.”
“What?”
“There’s no way ‘The Man’ is going to arrest or convict Possible, especially when it’s us pressing charges.”
“Ah, ye of little faith. This is where the next phase of my Plan B comes in.”
“Great,” muttered Monique, “plans within plans.”
From down the hall, a deafening thud signaled people entering the maximum security zone. Many footsteps, accompanied by jingling keys and low chattering, echoed into confusing gibberish. A tall, burly GJ guard came into view first and boomed, “Ron Stoppable and Monique, you have visitors.”
A new, unfamiliar voice corrected the guard. “Correction, sir. My team and I are their legal council.”
“Whatever,” said uniformed man, rolling his eyes. “You have thirty minutes once we secure the prisoners and transport them to the conference room.”
Curious, Monique actually got up and poked her head out of the cell. “Who are you?”
A slick, greasy haired man puffed his chest out. “Hank Perkins, attorney at law.” He stepped aside to reveal two other individuals. “These are Wade and Yori, my assistants. Don’t worry, Ms. Monique, we’ll have this misunderstanding sorted out before you know it.”
*****************
- The End of Episode 1